We are constantly growing… no matter what age we are. And in the same way every relationship we are in, is also growing. We are constantly in a state of movement. A state of motion or lagging behind in some way or the other.
Look closely, your relationship with your father, mother, sisters, brothers, boss, children, spouse, all are growing. Sometimes we are growing closer, sometimes more distant. And just like one’s body grows, it sometimes gets ill, sometimes it’s a short illness like a virus which will be fine in five days if you take the correct measures and ‘care’. And sometimes it becomes a ‘fatal’ illness. In the same way our ‘relationships’ growth gets affected. Every day happenings bring us close to our loved ones, or take us further apart. As Stephen R Covey says…its like a bank account. When we take a negative step in a relationship we are taking out of our account with that person. When we do something nice for a person, we are putting into the account.
And a time comes when a relationship comes to an end. No matter how long its been. It comes to an end. You say ‘this happened and that is why it broke’. Or you may say ‘It was just the last straw on the camel’s back’. Actually, it had come to an end already, and was looking for a formal excuse to make it more respectable.
It had to happen.
In retrospect when we look at the events of last few weeks, months, years….it had already taken its direction. Only you kept trying to deny it. You were not ready to let go. You were not ready to accept it or see it as it was. Perhaps, it was too harsh a reality to swallow. So you kept fighting for it. You could not imagine a life without that person. People can die anytime, and so can relationships. And when this does happen, the only sensible thing to do is… to let go. And accept it. And get on with your life. It will be natural to be unhappy, and lament. But once you accept it, you will be able to take stock of your life and get on with it. Start taking steps. Make all necessary changes…. To help you move on.
It is like jumping out of a C-130 for a Para jump. It sounds like a crazy suicidal idea. But if you do it after proper preparation, then it’s possible. So when a relationship comes to an end. Bring it to an end appropriately. With all the help needed for the preparation and proper ending.
Even with death. The biggest problem is accepting it. To say ‘yes, dear God, it was Your will, and I accept that it happened, as you had willed it to happen’. And then to let go of the person. To let him live in peace in his new dwelling – wherever it may be. Not to ask a questions like Why? Or… When? Just let it go.
Its important to accept and let go in a real life relationship too. Otherwise, you’ll be struggling for months or years. Keeping this in a state in which it must not be. Prolonging a torture, that needs to be short. Like a surgery. It needs to be quick and properly executed. And then all the help needs to be given to both the severed parts…so these can heal properly.
Letting go, and moving on is important. All one can do is to make the process as painless as it is possible. Give yourself the pampering you need, and do all you can to help yourself get back on your feet.
Be your own best friend. After all, you would do a lot for a friend going through the process. Why not to your own self?
Thanks for reading my blog. Stay blessed. 🙂