This blog post is about how, while avoiding the ‘C’ word of Covid19 in our lives, I ended up in ‘C’ word of Cancer. So, this post is about how I found out about it, and what I learnt which might help you too, if God forbid you or your loved one has to go through it. It is the most common thing these days.
Yes, actually I got Breast cancer. It is as deadly, as Covid19, in fact more so. On 28th of May, 2021, I felt this small lump on right side, I immediately called my friend Amber. (She has just recovered from stage four breast cancer, within a year.)
‘What should I do?’ I asked.
‘Get a mammogram and ultrasound done.’ She said.
So, I went and got it done. There, the radiologist suggested I show this to Dr. Rakshanda, in a nearby clinic. She said, ‘though I’ve never met her, I’ve found her diagnosis 100% accurate.’
So, I did that, and yes, it was cancer, its size was 2.2 cm. So, that’s when my whole life stopped.
Cancer is that monster in our lives, which is lurking behind each one of us. None of us know when and where it can hit us.
Now, six months later, I’m clean from cancer again, I am ready to share my story with you. I’ve learnt about it my way.
Being positive helps
Here are some points which will help you remain positive through it:
- Know that it is from Allah/God. I was thinking, we never ask Him ‘Why me’ when He is blessing us. No need to ask ‘Why me’ now either! Just know that it is from Him, its’ got to make sense.
- Keep things in proportion; Keep it in its place. 2.2 cms, under the skin, out of over 22 feet of skin of my body. I’m sure, that means that only 1% of my body is affected, so why should I lose my whole life due to it?
- Haroon Sharif gave me best advice:
- He said, ‘it is called a ‘health shock’.
- Prepare yourself to only do 30% of the work that you normally do in your life. Let go of your 70% . (Reminded me of the Pareto’s Law of 20/80)
- Select the 30% of important activities. Out of that 30%, give only 30% of your time to your illness, and its processes. Keep the rest of its’ 70% for healthy activities.
- Focus on getting the best: For treatment, he offered financial help and wanted me to go to Seattle. His brother (and my SIL) Ahmad Bilal was there. ‘You must not worry, just focus on getting the best treatment.’
- LET GO of everything else for the time being. Nothing is more important than one’s health.
- Decide how you will deal with it. This illness is serious stuff – it is a life and death thing. As far as time of death is concerned, we know that it is preordained. Fine. But don’t bring it on yourself Babe, by overthinking. You cope with it yourself, your way. Make your own decisions.
- Make the basic decisions asap:
- Choose the best hospital and oncologist you want to be treated by, base it on successful cases you personally know, which are similar to your case.
- Get the tests done by the chosen hospital.
- Give biopsy samples to two laboratories. When there are two samples, you can compare the two results from different places, then situation is clearer.
- Find your happiness element in every situation:
- Being who I am, first I threw a ‘pre-chemo party.’ Of course, all SOPs were followed. Then I shifted the date for first chemo, so my birthday blast, with Waliya could be done! No compromise on fun times 😉 .
Decisions, decisions….
Where:
I decided to get treated in my home town, Islamabad. Dr. Rakshanda suggested Shifa International Hospital, and Dr. Hadi the surgeon. Amber took me to meet her Chemo therapist Dr. Farrukh at Shifa hospital.
If you can be in Pakistan with its support system, our helpers at home, and the best medical facilities, it feels great. (Of course the support system has to be controlled, or it can overwhelm you.) So, I didn’t share my situation with everyone.
This decision to get my treatment done in Pakistan was seconded by my friend, Dr. Shahnaz Mian Hamid, she is a doctor and has worked both in USA and here in Pakistan. Recently, while she was in USA, she found out she has cancer, and her treatment has started there. She said ‘you get the same treatment in Pakistan today, as it is anywhere in the world.’
In the end, it is all in God’s Hands, anyway.
Of course, Shaukat Khanum labs were used and the option of getting treatment from their hospital in Lahore, was also considered. But the travel that it would involve made it best to do it in Shifa International Hospital, in Islamabad. You will find it’s link here. So, think carefully what you decide.
When:
As soon as possible. I found out on a Friday, 28th May, 2021, same day it was confirmed for me. Next day, as the weekend began, I drove off with the Haroon family and Sadia, for a trip to Khaira Gali, keeping the news to myself.
I had already got an appointment for Monday, for the tru cut, also, I got the other required tests including the CT scan etc.
Verifying:
Verifying exactly what type it is, takes all those tests, because each result decides how it will be treated. Once you’ve decided about the hospital, it is best to get all tests done from there, as they have their own system.
I know we believe they are filling their pockets (which they are), but we must respect their rules.
Now, remember you will go through the five stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. You will go through each of these.
If you can start with acceptance, the rest will become easy.
Go to a psychiatrist, or psychologist:
It is natural to have fears. Now, you can find counselling sessions online also. Let him/her help you with the answers to questions about your fears. My only fear was how to break the news to my loved ones. I told him ‘ I’m just glad that if it had to happen, it is me , and not my loved ones. Alhamdolillah! I told him that I’m worried how my loved ones would take it. ‘How do I tell them?’
He said, ‘first you tell them, you felt a lump. Got it tested. Slowly, tell about the result. They will find courage from the way you are coping.’
He added, ‘Even now, you are only worried about them! This is the time in your life, when you’ve got to be selfish. Take care of yourself first. Then, others will also be at peace.’
He agreed with me to not tell my mother. Though I didn’t want to tell my daughters living abroad, he felt I should; saying ‘it is their right.’
This is why it is important to go to professionals.
How to stay happy:
Give yourself lots of good news:
Keep thinking of different ways you are learning to cope better. Dr. Shahid said, ‘tell yourself how much you are improving. Give good news to yourself.’
Avoid negative people and situation:
Just walk out of the room. You cannot afford to be with people who pity you and give negative vibes. So, cut them out. Its the same about situations that stress you out. So, just stop them. This is why it is important to not share the news with everyone, immediately.
Take care of your body to keep your mind sharp:
He went on to say, ‘If you want to think clearly, you have to avoid physical fatigue. If your body is exhausted, how can your mind be fine? So, take care of your body too, while thinking positively.
Get spiritual guidance:
Mufti Salahuddin in Islamabad, suggested Surah Fateha – 41 times – during Fajr prayers. This was to be done while doing a damm in water (for the day) between Sunnat and Farz rakats. He gave me an ayat (23.14 – 41 times) to be read after Isha prayers. (To be done for 41 days.) At first I thought its impossible. Then when I got going, I’m even doing it after its got completed, because it feels so good! 🙂
He did damm on a can of olive oil which I’d massage over the affected area.
I have great faith in his prayers and damm oil, as I’ve tried him out before, for my knee problem here. I’ve still not needed the knee replacement surgery after six years!
My friend Farkhanda Niazi showed me proper way for namaz-e-hajat, as also given in the 9th point in Qudratullah Shahab’s autobiography, at the end in his wazeefas. I’d do this before any special test or chemo cycle.
You can do whatever comes in your comfort zone. Specially if you are a non-Muslim, find any spiritual meditation that gives you peace and tranquility.
Do whatever you love to do.
In my case, I love driving. So, I made sure I drove, as soon as possible after a chemo. I kept the Food Drive going on a daily basis, because I just love it.
We replaced the Bridal projects with more medical cases. During this time we helped Waqas, father of four-year-old Moosa who had brain tumor. Also, we helped get a prosthesis – hand for Shakeel(20-year-old) . (He had lost his right hand.)
You all helped me with these projects. That is what I love. I know we cannot help all, but it makes a difference to those we help.
I also did Tai Chi, sometimes. I walked as much as easily possible. Exercise is a must.
Challenge yourself.
I managed to do several things that gave me a special kick!
1, I sold my plot. In these Covid19 times, it took quite an effort. Alhamdolillah, people cooperated. Even that plot got sold which was almost impossible. I didn’t mind selling at a loss, as I was achieving my goal.
2. Tedx Talks: I was invited, and agreed to speak at the Ted Talks. It was eleven days after my fourth Chemo. The topic was ‘Thriving through Trauma. Hopefully it will get shared in January 2022. It has been sent to their head office in New York.
3. Did my writing too: I made full use of mental clarity when I got it. So, I did manage to write a few blog posts, including these ones. (I know it could be better!) I’d sit in the Day Care during Chemo with my laptop writing my blog posts.
4. Did counselling: I was tickled by this when, I did some counselling sessions. (I felt like telling the girl, that I’ve got cancer and am in middle of its treatment, while I’m listening, and giving you tips on how to deal with your problems!) Alhamdolillah, I could still help others.
Approaching a spiritual guide who can suggest some ways of prayer and recitation of verses from Holy Quran or whichever meditation. This process can give amazing inner tranquility.
Financial crunch
As you have seen, I had made arrangements to pay for everything. But my family didn’t give me a chance. In fact two of my friends wanted to pay up also, but I refused. Of course I chipped in for the surgery and other stuff.
Lets round up here:
- Cancer makes you more alive to life, and how precious it is.
- I’ve realized, I’ve become even more daring than before!
- The first thing I did after getting the confirmation, was that I asked my SIL Faizan to hand me a cigarette so I could smoke with him! Hahaha!
- I learnt to accept all the horrid tests. Took them calmly.
As you have guessed, this story has just begun. So, I’m going to share the rest in my upcoming posts.
Stay blessed and protected. 🙂
Allah…. May Allah SWT bless you with the best of health. Your so precious ❤️ you are not an ordinary person. All your courage, motivation, strength is just impressive. May Allah keep you in His protection and blessings, Ameen
Keep smiling and spreading this positivity ❤️
Aaminah,
Thank you so much. Your good wishes, give me more strength. May Allah bless you and your family too. Stay blessed and protected.
May Allah give you complete shifa n health. Loads of love n prayers for u. Ive never read such a touching yet uplifting and inspirational blog post about any illness or distress. You are strong and even more helpful. ❤️
Assalam walekum, its not been too long that i have started to follow you and your lovely daughters I am still learning about you, your life by reading your posts and your daily stories, you are an extremely warm, and extraordinary human being, I am pray Allah SWT always bless you with good health and you are certainly an inspiration for all of us loads of love and prayers ❤❤
Alizah
May Allah bless you with health and happiness 🙂 it sure must have been such a hard time.. your strength and positive attitude towards life is surely inspiring.
Thank you so much! 🙂
Stay blessed.
The Lord is truely our survivor and protector. You kept all the faith in HIM and get healed. May Allah bless you and your family. AMEEN.
Love the way you are ❤️
Hello Aunty! This blog is not enough! We need to learn more. Loved every bit of it ❤️
Well put. As you can see, I’ve followed this blog post with more posts. Hope these are enough? I’m still working on more.
Stay blessed and keep commenting!
May Allah grant you the healthiest life and let us take care of ours too. Ameen
Assalamuailkum. I started knowing you since I know waliya maybe from 2017. I know you like the most lovely Instagram family and my bond with you became more stronger since happy chirp podcast.May Allah miyan bless you more and more with everything.
What makes me comment here, is the situation of my mother.
She was feeling a lump, but it was diagnosed later in the end of November 21 that their is a tumor of 2 cm with 10% cancerous cell.
My family is middle class and conservative. People around me see cancer is a death with no sign of returning back.I myself studied medicine. I know it is treatable.
But The bad influence of my mother and her uneducated friends convinced her to take the homeopathic treatment. She is doing it now.
I am very much hopeless and annoyed of myself as I am not able to convince her to do the proper treatment.
Winters are sad, but these winters are different kind of sad.
Please pray for me shireen aunty. I don’t want to loose my mother either I can’t convince her.
Thank you for your post. I now know it’s a battle of people with the stronger spirit..
Is is possible for you to show my blog posts to your mother? Perhaps these will convince her? My friend Amber specially asked me not to mix homeopathy with this treatment. Those friends of hers who did this didn’t quite make or get well. Then it becomes too late. One needs to choose one’s treatment and then stick to it. It is vital for your mother to take this up as now, it is the most treatable of all cancers. Hers being just so early, she needs to give it her best.
I hope and pray she sees the light.
Thank you so much for sharing your apprehensions and thoughts with me.
Keep praying for your mother.
Lots of love,
Stay blessed.
Aoa aunty. I’m following you since 3 months or may be 2 months. Got to know you through three of your amazing daughters. We are also three sisters and my father has a small polyp in colon. It’s not a cancer but can turn into cancer Allah forbids. Reading your blog made me so so emotional as two of my sisters are abroad and I’m here with him taking care. I want to see his smile everyday. One thing that abbu doesn’t agree with is to get that polyp removed as my family uncle stopped him from doing so. Obviously because it’s not cancerous and Abbu is afraid of surgeries. I wish you all the best and make Dua that may you get all the happiness, bouncing health and peace. Love and duas. ? Yes last but not the least, I’m also doing these food drives since 7 years now. Alhamdulillah. Alone. With help of my sisters and students. Though I cook myself and love it. Yes, we do need people like you. You are a true inspiration and motivation. Love ? and unlimited duas. Your blog was a motivation for me.
Thank you Jaweria for sharing all this with me. About your father, leave it to him to decide for himself. However, You can pray for him on a daily basis. Any dua that clicks with you, or ask someone. Also ask your father to pray for himself. Reduce or remove sugar from diet completely. Keep a watchful eye on him. Insha Allah he will be fine.
I’m thrilled to know about your food drive. You are my senior in this then. 🙂 It is one of the most satisfying activities in life. May Allah bless you and make this work even more beneficial to you and your community. Ameen.
I’m so glad that my blog post motivated you.
Stay blessed.
It’s never easy to talk about the “c” word.May Allah swt bless you always ..lots of duas for you always.
Yes, you guessed it right. This was my toughest blog post and article ever. (Believe me I’ve written some very tough pieces in my life. But this one really takes the cake!) Thank you for your duas and prayers.
Stay blessed.
I’m stunned at your courage and bravery. Also I got teary eyed reading what you’d to go through. I pray that Allah bless you and your family with good health and happiness in both the worlds ♥️
I’m stunned at your courage and bravery. Also I got teary eyed reading what you’d to go through. I pray that Allah bless you and your family with good health and happiness in both the worlds ♥️
Umme Kusoom,
Thank you so much.
lots of love,
Stay blessed and protected,
Shireen
I cnt tell u how much I felt while reading all this . May Allah pak bless u and all mothers good health and longer life ❤️❤️ U r very strong auntie you are a fighter . ??? lots of love and prayers .
Dear Anum,
Thank you so much. Yes, I also pray for all mothers. Yet we have to accept Allah’s plans.
Stay blessed and protected,
Shireen.
You are such a brave lady .you gave positive vibes you are dear to Allah Pak so he passes you from this trial you passed this trial very positively.Allah Pak bless you with good health and long life Ameen.
Thank you Sadia Jamal for these much needed prayers and good wishes.
Believe me, during my treatments, I’d literally feel the duas of my well wishers.
My doctor would always be happy with my test results. He called me his prime case.
May Allah be with you at every step too.
Lots of love,
Shireen
Aunty, you have been in my prayers since i felt you aren’t fine. So glad you have recovered so much Ma Shaa Allah. I have learnt A LOT from your Instagram journey through out these months and from this blog post too. This positive approach of life is what I aspire to have now. May Allah blesses you with a healthy and contented life with your beautiful family.? YOU ARE A CHAMPION!!! ???
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’m blessed to have you as my follower.
I’m glad you find my instagram useful too. I just got into it for fun. Now, can’t stay away from it!
All the best,
Read your story and missed my mother a lot. She went through all these hard time. May Allah bless you complete recovery and a healthy life. Ameen..
Thank you Binish,
Prayers for your mother from my side too.
Each of us have our own journeys.
Lots of love
Very courageous lady who is battling with the disease and am sure she will be victorious. I pray to Allah SWT to restore her to the best of health.
Thank you Iqbal. This is probably one of the most challenging of health shocks. May Allah protect us all. Thank you for your comment. Stay blessed.
You’re such a fighter MashaAllah. May Allah SWT bless you with good health mam. May you keep spreading positivity that resides in your beautiful soul. You definitely bring light to others’ lives. May you keep shining like this with your beautiful smile on your face. Ameen.
Dear Ushnah,
Love you for your sweet words. I’m so glad. 🙂
I am so happy that you have recovered ?
Your posts are a constant source of inspiration and mostly a booster shot for me I feel refreshed by looking at your pictures…
Sending lots of prayers ?
Thank you so much, Mehak. I’m so glad you like my posts.
Thank you so much,
Stay blessed. 🙂
Dear Shireen! I follow you on Instagram and always love watching your stories. I am glad you faced this C very bravely. That’s what I expect from a lady like you. May Allah bless you with long healthy life. Ameen
Thank you so much. Yes, my daughters and mother took it well. In fact I was very pleasantly surprised. Allah has been specially kind, and helped us in every way. Stay blessed.
AOA. aunty Ioads of love your way. We are also three sisters. My mother had brainstroke in march . The worst nightmare of our lives.Alhamdulilah she recovered from it. When I see your daughterS n your stories. I Can totally relate with them. But I got so drained this year from all these up and downs. That I am in a constant fear of losing my loved ones… but this blog just gave a new breath. MAY Allah make it easy for us. N Allah bless you for spreading soo much positivity during this hard times for broken hearts like us. Love n prayer for your family
Thank you Maria for sharing your own tough journey with me. I’m so glad your mother recovered. May Allah always keep it that way. I’m sure you have done research on what to do to make sure it doesn’t happen again, or what to watch out for? May Allah make our journeys easier. Ameen.
You’re very strong and a true fighter. Also an inspiration for us ❤️
Thank you Hamna.:) stay blessed.
Dear Hamna,
Thank you for letting me know you have been following us for over two years. Thank you specially for your duas. May Allah keep us all safe and protected.
Stay blessed, lovely one. 🙂
PS: Please go and get that bruise and lump checked asap. Just do something, don’t sit at home wondering what to do. Also, I’ve had a friend whose doctor said it was nothing, and six months later she found out it was cancerous. So, don’t just go to one doctor, you can even get a second opinion.
I just pray that it is nothing serious. But if it is, then the sooner you go the better chance you will have of having full recovery.
You can go to a medical specialist. I just went to the lab and got it tested. Perhaps you can do that too.
Best of luck.
More power to you super woman❤️❤️❤️
Thank you !
You truly are a warrior ❤️❤️❤️ may Allah swt bless you more and more ✨❤️❤️ hats off to all of your family members for supporting you through this phase especially waliya and nadiya… You will be completely fine inshallah ❤️
Always keep smiling ❤️ you are really a fighter… My grandmother is fighting with cancer…. You have inspired me so muchhhh
Aunty Asslamulaikum … I just read your story & saw your daughters post on how you had gone through this ordeal against this disease & im extremely happy to see that you fought this disease & Alhamdulillah Allah Subhana Wa Ta’alla has blessed you with a new lease on life Alhamdulillah … I myself recently went through the loss of losing my mom & I know what it means to go through grief … I wish you & your family excellent health & a lot of happiness for the new year 2022. Stay Blessed & please remember me in your prayer’s …
What a wonderfully positive person you are! A true inspiration!
I love you Shireen Aunty. Your purpose in life is an inspiration to all of us. Thankyou for your strength and sharing your journey with us. Special prayers for you and your family always ❤️
I love your positive spirit. It is so hard to stay positive during tough times but you proved it ,May you stay happy healthy and vibrant always. more power to you. love and lots of dua
I love this. MashaAllah! May Allah give you a long healthy life with meaning. Ameen.
I’m so glad you love it. These have been my toughest posts…
I’ve only written these, so they are of use to you all.
Stay blessed.
May Allah swt blesses you with good health aunty . Yiu are an inspiration to all of us . Loads of love & duas ?
Thank you so much. Need such prayers.
You are really a gem of a person and your daughters too . The way you dealt with this is truly remarkable and this made you even more stronger and a way for others to learn from your experience . May ALLAH (S.W.T) blesses you , your daughters and your loved ones with even greater health and so much happiness and love.
Thank you Areej, this was probably the toughest post I’ve ever written. I’m glad it been of use to my readers in one way or another.
All the best for you and yours.
Stay blessed and protected.
Yes, Areej, that’s why I’ve shared my experience. Believe me, writing this was post was one of the toughest. I got it checked by my doctor also. Dr. Farrukh liked it, and liked the patient’s perspective too. My daughters have been my rock through this tough journey.
Stay blessed,
Shireen
Aunty it will be very kind of you if you could share namaz e hajat tareeqa or provide any link .Because so many people like me don’t even know about it .lots of love and prayers your way ❤
Kainat,
I’m sure you would have someone near at hand, preferably a student of Al-Huda, who would help you.
All the best.
AssalamuAlaikum aunty, I hope you are doing well now,you are a fighter aunty,this is so inspiring,my mother is sick as well,she has high-grade primary CNS lymphoma,she doesn’t know she has cancer,as my family is not educated and they think this is deadly and there is no cure for this,she had few years back stroke,she had TB,she is diabetic and before few months after her brain biopsy we came to know she has this,she had her first chemo ,her second chemo was supposed to be on 29th of November,but the hospital didn’t accept her because of financial issue,we are still waiting for some papers ,I hope soon she gets her treatment and she is not aware of the c word,May Allah give her shifa May Allah give my mother and all the sick around the world best healthy life Ameen,after reading your blog it really gave me hope ,aunty you are very strong Masha Allah,May Allah give you long healthy life,Ameen,you are a winner ,we need so much positive and brave people like you in life .
stay blessed,
Maryam
AssalamuAlaikum aunty, I hope you are doing well now,you are a fighter aunty,this is so inspiring,my mother is sick as well,she has high-grade primary CNS lymphoma,she doesn’t know she has cancer,as my family is not educated and they think this is deadly and there is no cure for this,she had few years back stroke,she had TB,she is diabetic and before few months after her brain biopsy we came to know she has this,she had her first chemo ,her second chemo was supposed to be on 29th of November,but the hospital didn’t accept her because of financial issue,we are still waiting for some papers ,I hope soon she gets her treatment and she is not aware of the c word,May Allah give her shifa May Allah give my mother and all the sick around the world best healthy life Ameen,after reading your blog it really gave me hope ,aunty you are very strong Masha Allah,May Allah give you long healthy life,Ameen,you are a winner ,we need so many positive and brave people like you in life .
stay blessed,
Maryam
Dear Maryam,
Certainly, I pray for your mother, that she recovers as soon as possible. May this journey be useful and fruitful. Her positivity is her biggest bet. I have several friends who won over this disease through their positive approach. May your support be a source of strength for her.
Lots of love and best wishes.
Walaikuk Salaam Maryam,
Thank you for sharing your mother’s situation with me. I believe very strongly that every human being has a right to know the facts about themselves. How can we assume that this person won’t be able to take it or not, till we share a piece of information with that person? In my case I was pleasantly surprised to see how well my daughters and mother took about my illness. I was also surprised how well I took the news. So, firstly, your mother needs to be told about her illness. I mean how is it possible for your mother to receive chemo, and not know that she has cancer? I’m sure she knows. This is also a trust issue. How will she trust anyone,, when her own family isn’t sharing the facts with her? I know you mean well, and she knows that too. Yet, it would be better to let her know the truth. The important thing is the break the news to her in a proper way. It is good to ask a psychologist how to break this news to her in a proper way. May Allah bring shifa to your mother. My best wishes to you and your family. Please do not mind what I’ve said, but I truly believe that each one of us, has a right to know the truth about ourselves. Insha Allah, your mother will be a winner too.
You’re strong lady?? so proud of you ❤️? Allah give you healthy and long life
Stay blessed! 🙂 Many thanks.