2026 is here, now what?

Now what? Just get on with it. Be who you want to be. Actually, I’ve done my ‘new year resolutions’ for too many years. Most of them, fade out within a few weeks or months. But then, what’s wrong with having them? These are new beginnings. A fresh start. Whats wrong with a fresh start every now and then? After 365 days, you get this opportunity to ‘re-start’ yourself. ‘Re-align yourself’ would be a better way to put it. A year becomes a good yardstick to work on. Especially, because it is aligned with the rest of your world and life.

Power of the written word

I really believe in the power of the written word. I’ve kept a diary since I was thirteen years old, (now I’m sweet 68!) I know what a written word is all about. Many things you write down, ‘knowing’ it can’t possibly become a reality in your life. But still you write it. Then, as the years unfold themselves, your dreams do become realities. Not just one dream but several more too. So, what I’m trying to say is, write down your ‘new year resolutions’. Write down your dreams. Best way to write is with conviction and faith. Don’t do it condescendingly.

Go ahead – write your new year resolution

Today, being thirteenth of January, its not too late. Go ahead with it, because you go towards your dreams one step at a time – at least know your direction first! Movement in the right direction. First thing is to format your game plan. Do it secretly. Its best never to share your dreams, but at least you should know them! Be aware of them. Write them down on a ‘post -it’, and keep in your pocket/wallet/purse, to read every now and then. Something solid. Preferably handwritten. To touch and feel. That’s why a personal diary is a must. I use that with handwriting only.

Life is too short, make it quick

You know, it will be over before we know it. Believe me, age is just a factor. People go young too. So, prioritize things. This life won’t be there forever. The resolution needs to be according to whats most important to me first.

Listen to your heart

‘Do what your heart tells you to do.’ My Daddy ( http://Success secrets of Brig Sarfaraz) said those words to me, when I asked him, ‘What should I do?’ It was a very traumatic time in my life, those thirteen years ago. I had just lost my husband, finding myself in the middle of many horrid challenges. Everyone was suggesting and expecting me to move in with my parents. I had this incomplete house which was my house. But it wasn’t yet ready, and I had no money to complete it. My heart said, ‘I want to move into my home.’ Within a couple of weeks, I moved in, (in that incomplete state!) with support from my parents and my friend Shahida Azeem. (Know more about her in http://Secrets of success of Shahida Azeem) I followed my heart at a time, when it was ‘impossible’. I’m so glad I did. Here, I am tapping away at my laptop in my bed, in that same house, with music playing on my smart tv. (Yes, one by one, I dealt with each one of my challenges.)

All because I listened to my heart, and went for it.

Those words like ‘impossible’ mean nothing when you are determined to give it everything you’ve got!

Go for it.

Sometimes, you don’t make ‘resolutions’ or ‘plans’, because there is no time for it. You just ‘know’ what you have to do. Then, you just ‘go for it.’

Subhan Allah! God really does help those who help themselves. So, when you are ready to do all that it takes to get there. Then, there will be no stopping you.

Resolutions

The real resolutions are to be true to yourself, no matter what! Be who you are. If your circumstances aren’t good. So what? Inside, be self assured. Be clear. Don’t be two-faced. Stand with the truth. Even when truth needs to be hidden for now. Remember those times, when Holy Prophet (PBUH) was in Makkah in early times? He and his followers were having a damn hard time. Deep inside they were clear. Nothing shook them. Even when they couldn’t openly declare their beliefs and religion, they remained firm. It was the same in the early days of Christianity. All people of the Books have had to face hardships of the worst kind.

Ours are still better times.

Clear out the muck

As you write, clear out the muck first from your mind; Keep clean. Clear out the muck, means all the negative thoughts – just put them out of the way. You are not going to think of all the reasons why you can’t do something, you will think of all the reasons you can do it. How you will do it, and why it is important to do it. Your feelings need to be as positive as possible.

Failure is not an option

All your energy and thought processes are working towards success, and only success. Step-by-step, you work on it, mentally and actually. Use tutorials, talk to the right mentors, educate yourself for what you have to do. Most of all, as Iqbal says:

If you seek knowledge, then be of two minds,

Increase your doubt, decrease your certainty,

If you seek action, doubt less, be more sure,

Be of one mind, one personality.

In our new year resolutions we are making a list of all of our actions. Remember that. (Yes, I’m sharing this book I’ve illustrated and published by Iqbal, in 2023. It was my dream, and I did it by putting it in my resolutions for several years.)

Your feelings matter

How you are feeling, while you write these resolutions, and when you later get to work on them, are vital for success. You’ve got to be feeling hopeful, enthusiastic and fully charged. That zest is vital. Your confidence in yourself will come from how you feel while doing these things. Be very attentive towards your feelings.

Respect the apprehensions

Do have respect for persistently negative feelings. Deal with the apprehensions as they come. Respect them. They have their own weightage. There maybe a reality in them. So, ask why do you feel this way about it? Then reason with each apprehensive feeling that you have. Find ways to tackle these and take solid steps towards solving the issues. This is how you clarify your negative feelings one by one. For instance, why did everyone want me to move into my parents’ home? For security of course, how could I and my daughter live alone in a house in Islamabad. So, I took necessary steps; I got a guard till I could get a proper security system installed. My husband’s friend Hamdani Bhai, helped me in this.

Security systems improved

I did get a proper security system installed in the house. My dog Paprica had become very ferocious ever since my husband passed away. So, having a black dog also helped a lot. Then, I scrutinized anyone who wanted to come to my house. Due to the construction work, it was difficult, but I made sure I knew that only six laborers stayed overnight. The carpenter Haji Ismael was my biggest guard too. So, we made sure no one could enter the house under any false pretext. All my workers and laborers were with me in this too. That’s how I stayed alone at fifty-four years, with a daughter who was just nineteen. I wasn’t afraid to live here, though many burglaries had taken place in nearby homes. The management of my MPCHS, did their bit in keeping an eye on me. Their guards would do extra vigilance on my house. I spotted one, who was obviously ‘paid’ by my enemies, so I gave him a good piece of my mind. He didn’t dare try again!

So, take proper steps.

Categorize the people in your life

Everyone isn’t your ‘friend’, or well wisher. Know that. Never mix them up. Always know your true allies.

I’ve loved this thing about all my bad times. The best thing is that you find out who are category one in your life. Period. Those who openly stood by your side, are the ones to give priority number one throughout your life. Never forget who had the guts to openly be with you when you were down. Never. There is a long list of them. I’ll always honor and value them in my life. They were my category number one.

Then, there are those, who do remain silent but assure you that they are with you, and actually help in making life easier for you.

Always remember those, who disappeared in your bad days, and those who stood with your enemies, and helped them against you. Those who remained silent at the toughest times of your life. Mark them, as category three! They aren’t your friends, or to be trusted. Ever. You may communicate with them if necessary, but never trust them. Do not socialize with them. Keep a solid distance from such rotten eggs.

Don’t be shaken or moved by your present circumstances. Know where you stand. Just go on with your life being clear who is important in it, and who isn’t.

At this stage in life, what’s important

This exercise above is important, and new year is right time to go about it. You don’t want to waste your time this year on people who have proved to you that they aren’t your priority. This year is for those who have stood by you in the test of time. Now, you will be with only those who really matter to you. Politely regret going to any events, or people’s places who are your category three!

Similarly, with category two, be careful and watchful. That’s what you’ll be this year.

Prioritize and focus on what matters most

Your resolutions will make you focus your mind on what matters to you. Stop wasting your time on activities, or people who end up making you feel bad. Time is money. Don’t waste your time on the wrong people or situations.