Hello Everyone! I’m back, after a longer break than usual. So, most of you know why, it was due to nikah ceremony of my youngest daugher, Waliya. Nikah is the actual marriage contract or certificate. I’ll give a little insight into the concept of it, for those who live in a different world from ours.
In Pakistan, the signing of the nikah-nama usually goes with the actual wedding ceremony. However, it has become quite common between an engaged couple to have the marriage contract written and signed in a ‘nikah ceremony’ earlier; So, when the ‘wedding ceremony’ will take place later, that is called the Ruksati, or departure of the girl from her parent’s home. A few close family members and friends are usually invited for the nikah event. It is like a marriage registration.
So, my youngest daughter Waliya’s Nikah was planned as a small function at home. We invited twenty-five guests from each side. Of course, Pakistani style, neither sides adhered to this! In the end around eighty persons came at least!
Dholki function at Faizan’s cousin’s home:
Starting with this cute function of dholki arranged by Faizan’s cousin in their home in Bahria Town, Phase III, Rawalpindi. There are very cute videos shared of this occasion on my Instagram account. Unfortunately, I couldn’t upload the videos here.
We considered the bride and groom having ceremony in Faisel or nearby Tooba mosques, however decided to have it at home. So, the moulvi sahib Qari Nazzar of Tooba Mosque was requested, and he came over for the ceremony. He was an educated and pleasant personality, and did everything in a responsible manner.
Two days before the nikah papers were duly brought in, with three copies in Urdu and two in English. I asked the bride and groom to sit and fill in the forms. Faizan’s mother and I had already agreed upon the details, with consent of our children.
While I was busy trying to get a ‘decent Haq-Mehr’ for my daughter, she was busy trying to cut it down to make it easy for the boy’s side. I felt proud of her, yet quite helpless too. This is her right to demand and she wasn’t doing it. In fact she fought it out on their behalf! (How I love this little kid of mine. May Allah bless and protect her.) As parents, we have to preserve the rights, of our children, and see that they get their due rights. Yet, I had to concede, as an adult it is her right to do what she feels is best.
Right of divorce:
This was given to her without any limitations, and noted there. When Allah brought out the divorce right in the Holy Quran, what right has any human being to take that right from the girl, while keeping it for the man?
Two types of Haq Mehr:
There is the muajjal and the muwajjal, meaning to be given at once, or later, according to a set time.
Mostly the immediate giving is encouraged.
Alhamdolillah, then the bride-and-groom-to-be, sat and wrote out the nikah nama in pencil, to be filled up later on by the maulvi sahib according to their wishes.
Terms and conditions:
At this time, the girl can ask for anything, which is acceptable to the man too. Muffin, our cat was party to it all, and closely watched all proceedings. Making sure he is to go with the bride, when the time comes. That one was a verbal agreement.
Nikah ceremony of Waliya and Faizan on 7th February:
It turned out the be one of the warmest and most wonderful nikah-functions.
Friends and relatives participated:
My college friend Ayesha Shahid came from Lahore, and joined in, also Farkhanda and Naila were there. My G 9 Sisters, and G 9 brothers were there, they were my husband’s closest friends.
Haroon, brother of my eldest son-in-law was the main representative of Waliya in the proceedings, while my friends Naila and Ayesha’s husbands Alamgir Bhai and Shahid bhai were the witnesses from our side.
The presence of very favorite uncle Jafar’s family was a source of joy for us. His wife, my Chachi Shahnaz Jafar specially returned from Qatar a day earlier for the occasion. She came along with Hasan and Amina.
It was a great joy for me to have my eldest sister of my father, Phupi jan (father’s sister) Mubarak arrive with her daughter Shahnaz and son-in-law Col. Zahid.
My dearest Chachi Shahnaz, wife of Brig. Jafar, my uncle arrived with her son Hassan and his wife Amina. We made sure all the families were well represented in the function. So, my relatives and friends, all had their representatives here.
There was so much love, warmth and happiness all round.
Everyone who was there, and one could see they enjoyed it.
Later, my friends told me how much they liked the boy’s family who are mainly from Abbasi family of Murree. Faizan’s father is a Malik from Chakwal area.
The menu included achar gosht made with chicken, Haleem, Barbecued chicken boties, seekh kebab, Russian salad and naans. My own staff did more than half the cooking, while I ordered the barbecue from the local Haji shop in F-10 Markaz. The naan shop near our house, provided the hot roghani and simple naans. The sweet dish was basically the delicious cake which was gifted by Sadia Ejaz of @bakeberry.bwp along with hot jalebis from the nearby shop.
Instagram went crazy and there was really no defining line, as they were included as friends too. They came with their love and enthusiasm.
Izza made an awesome video the same night. Ammar and Fawad made theirs too. The photographers caught the warmth, the love and the whole ceremony so beautifully that it is a great credit to them. How they did it is nothing short of magic, as there wasn’t an inch of space to move. Honestly! – I’m telling you. So, how they made these videos is a credit to their skills.
Rammal the photographer who used to be Waliya’s idol when she started this hobby in a professional way, insisted on taking the pictures, as did Maha’s photography. The dress of the bride was from Lahore’s designers like the jewelry by Shafaq Habib.
This video was prepared by Ammar:
My children have worn my clothes and jewelry:
It gives me so much joy to know that my tikka, was worn both by first born Nataliya and now by my youngest daughter Waliya. Nadiya wore my wedding dress’ gharara on her mehndi. Nataliya had also worn my nikah gharara for her Waleema function. So, it feels good to see your children using your clothes and jewelry on their special days too.
(I think I’ll now keep these for my grand-daughters!)
Though Faizan’s mother and I both cried at the time of the nikah, (why do we become weepy at such times?) I guess, it is because the child’s whole life comes in front of one’s eyes. One gets emotional seeing them grown up enough to fly off to build their own new family and home now.
In my case, I missed Waliya’s Papa. He would have been so happy to see his youngest child so happy on this important day. Naturally, I missed my own father too, who loved Waliya so much and would have been so happy to see his little ‘chief’ get married today.
Humbly, I felt so grateful to my Allah for giving me this day to complete my responsibility, as a parent. You really can’t help being weepy.
Special thanks event managers, photographers and for the cake:
I believe there were two event managers – one for the general decorations all over the house, and specially where the bride and groom were to sit. Then the other put up balloons and special effects at entrance. This was awesome too.
The strings of lights on almost all walls done up inside the house and outside as a canopy was Waliya’s idea. It brought such a festive look to the whole house. It served as a backdrop for the event managers’ decorations. This is why we had to get the lighting done two days earlier, so the decorations could be done a day earlier. The impact was amazing.
Many things went exactly as planned, others didn’t work out at all. But in the end the smiles of the bride and the groom were worth it all.
Today, February 27th, I’m still finally putting my home back in order after the function on 7th of February.
Remember the helpers:
Stay blessed, my dear Readers. Why you read this post is something I don’t understand. I wrote it because I love sharing those things with you which I feel are important in my life, and would be in yours too. Nikah functions and weddings are so much fun.
We need to remember to keep it low key and include the poor people with us at all times. You can’t imagine how much help I received from all the staff of mine and the helpers of my community. Everyone did their bit. In fact, that night I was so exhausted, and saw that they were still up in the kitchen busy washing it down. I had to push them out to go and rest.
They all had also enjoyed the event and had put in their best in every way they could.
Blessed by Awesome Entrepreneurs:
Izzah prepared this video, as did Ammar and Fawad. Their work was just amazing. The event managers of zuora_events, and the balloon decor. The beautiful dress was by Mohsin Naveed Ranjha of Lahore, he is a well known designer,, as were the ear rings by Shafaq Habib, of Lahore.
Well-wishers’ prayers and good wishes:
Naturally the videos went viral on Instagram. Many of my friends called to congratulate me. None of them asked me why I didn’t call them! They were there for me with their prayers and their good wishes.
I love you all my dear friends. I’m so happy you understood. This is what true friends are, they understand without being told.
Love you all and your prayers were with me, as mine are always with you.
Stay blessed my Readers, I certainly have been! Alhamdolillah. 😊
Note: Photographs not provided by author, in fact by Waliya, Rammal, Izzah, Ammar, Mahaphotography and Fawad.