Forgiving one’s own self

Do these following remarks seem familiar?

“I’m always making a fool of myself!”

“Mein to hoon hi aisi!”  (I am like this!)

“Meray saath to hamesha aisa hi hota hai, kiyon keh mein itni bay waqoof hoon!” (This always happens with me, because I’m such a stupid fool!)

“Idiot”

“Total nut case!”

These are a few of the comments that I catch myself making on  myself and its several times in the week:

I wrote a blog on importance of forgiving others in your life recently. Now, I’m realizing it is important to forgive myself too. How can I go on with my life, if I’m constantly using derogatory language about myself? (I guess, for that one’s siblings, parents and the big bad world are doing a good enough job. ) – You don’t have to add to that onslaught also!

As for one’s self is concerned, be more understanding and supportive of yourself. Who knows better than yourself, what you have been going through? Remember, where you have come from? And how you reached, where you are now? Who knows  where you are going to? No one else knows your dreams, your visions or your heartaches. So, give yourself a break. Pamper yourself.  Be your own best friend.

I guess, the biggest challenge is to keep your promise to yourself first. Do what’s best for you first.

A simple thing like… not being able to say ‘no’ in social settings. I’ve been brought up to always have what is being offered to you. Sometimes, I’m too full. It is so hard to say ‘no’ to someone who comes to you with a tray full of goodies.  In the process of trying  not  to hurt them, I find myself hurting myself. (Poor Princess Diana dealt with it in a rather difficult way, to keep her figure.)

Most of us gain weight due to social eating. Oh, there is a way, there is a trick to this: take a bit, and ‘play with it…’ meaning that eat very tiny mouthfuls and push the food around your plate with your fork while you are talking.  It appears as if you are eating, but actually you are not.

We all make mistakes in life. After all, we are human. No need to go on and on about it to yourself. Learn your lesson, and then ‘delete’ it from your memory, ‘save’ the lesson learnt.

Spend more time with people who energize and appreciate you than with those who make you feel small and awful.

However, do enjoy the funny side of your own follies too. Have a good laugh if you like, but get on with life afterwards.

As I said in my earlier blog “Allah keeps saying He is ‘oft-forgiving.’ Meaning, that He knows, this human being is not just going to make one mistake, but many. So, if the same thing happens again. Please forgive yourself again too. ‘koi baat nahi!’ just try to find ways to avoid it happening again.

Perhaps what I’m trying to say is: ‘be kind to yourself !’ – just as you are kind to others. Forgive yourself, just as you forgive others.  Just as it is a conscious effort to be kind to others, make it a conscious effort for yourself too. In your ‘to do’ list, as you include your loved ones, do include yourself too!

I’ve decided to do it. Though, meanwhile keep asking Allah for His forgiveness, at all times, even then.