Salaams to all. This one is more about getting yourself back to normal after a difficult spell in life. It maybe a personal tragedy, or just a terribly busy spell in life. When you come back to your own life, you find that almost everything has changed.
Nothing is as it used to be.
So, how to find your own self?
Well, I use the terminology of ‘rebooting yourself.’
You know what ‘reboot’ or ‘restart’ means?
Definition – What does Reboot mean?
Reboot is the process of closing and starting a computer or its operating system from the initial boot loading sequence. This process reloads the operating system files and is used to fix many common computer problems, such as slow processing or freezing.
So, back to my topic, to reboot myself, I have a theory that really works for me…. Let me show you. I love to do an activity which will keep me physically and mentally involved. Best one is painting, or writing for me, but another is driving, or just plain upholstering my furniture items around the house.
Yesterday, I had someone over, saying he loved his mother so much; when she left the world last year, he felt so lost. He wants to gather himself and his life, but is finding it too hard. The loneliness is too much. He misses her a lot, as wherever he looks he finds her memories. So, you know what I suggested? That he should offer his sisters any of the furniture items they want. After all, they have sentimental connection with these, and would be happy to have most of these. He, too could keep some for himself. This would create space for him to start a fresh life for himself. Keeping the home the same way, only makes him feel worse, as the main person isn’t there, and everything reminds him of her.
‘Re-upholstering your furniture can change all that!’ I told him.
A big smile dawned on his face. He was pleasantly surprised.
I told him,
‘it changes the dynamics of your home.’
He loved my idea. Then it struck him, ‘it will cost some money!’
I said ‘yes, much better than paying your psychiatrist and for the medications!’
He laughed out loud.
Re-upholstery as a means of rebooting yourself:
Actually this is what I’ve done. I’ve done up my mother’s room, and given it a completely new look. She willingly contributed to the change, and I went and did the needful, it was a lovely drive to the shop with her, to get the materials. A mind-boggling time in the shop planning and calculating… and finally returning with the materials, feeling happy. (The trick is in not investing in too expensive a cloth, or you will be stuck with it forever.) In case you like a very expensive material, then use it sparingly. In my mother’s case of her Victorian sofa set’s case, I used it for the cushions only, the rest was in a lovely shade of pink to brighten her room up a bit. I know the color scheme is ‘colorful’, but it was needed to keep her cheered up. (Blue and gray was too close to the original feeling and colors!) I had looked up some interesting versions of modern ways to upholster these old-fashioned styles in sofas.
Of course, I have my own upholstery man who willingly comes over. So, he came and the work has begun.
Now, this is how it looks, it has changed the look of the room completely. I even did up my dad’s hospital bed, with upholstered bed head and foot board, to give it a lovely look. Now, my mother can use it and she can be easily raised to help her up to a sitting position. So, this would be ideal for her breakfast in bed.
Other rebooting systems:
I’m telling you painting is even better. It is the best. But very few people understand.
‘My friend is paying around Rs.2,00, 000/- per month, going to a rehabilitation center, for some therapeutic treatment which includes coloring, and ranting one’s heart out.’ Said my student Izma. Then she added, ‘I wish she had just come to your art classes!’
Yes, she could feel it too. Painting is one of the most therapeutic things. Well, so is knitting, embroidery and stitching. Well, it is anything that involves your mind and body in so much action that there is no time to feel morbid.
Depending on the time you have, and the money at your disposal, I can suggest these therapeutic activities which can help you reboot:
- A trip to the nursery, and fill your home with huge indoor plants. (Time: one to two hours.)
- Buy yourself a huge bouquet of flowers. (Time: 5, 10 to 15 minutes.)
- Yes, get clothes if you want, but they don’t give me that big a thrill. In the case of newly upholstered furniture, you can enjoy for several years. (Time: takes around a week to ten days.)
- Well, you can reset the furniture settings in your home. That also gives a fresh look. (Time: one to two hours, and months of pleasure. No cost at all!)
- Cook a nice dish, serve it with a nice candle lit dinner or lunch. Use your best cutlery and crockery. (Who could be more valuable than yourself?) This process can take a couple of hours.)
- Go out for a long drive till you find a stream, seaside, river or pond. Put your feet in the water, and laugh out loud. Okay, you can look out glumly at the horizon from there – if that makes you happier. (Time: 4 -6 hours. Return with lovely pictures and videos to fill you with lovely memories. You can share on Instagram too.)
- What about those funny cat films on YouTube? (Yes, 20 minutes to one hour.)
I believe in doing something that needs you to be to be fully active physically and mentally too.
Nadiya Najib’s blog post on Time Management:
Well, I love the article Nadiya Najib wrote on time management. You know it is a pet subject of mine. My girls have witnessed these things in their home, and tried their own ways of doing it. You will find it here.
I’m telling you, when you manage your time properly in which you manage not only your own time but also take care of your loved ones, then you will be a far happier person.
It is a good way to reboot and get back to your ‘normal’ self!
So, when life deals you a jolt, you have to have things lined up so you can get back to normal. Here, your schedules are all ready and waiting for you.
Note: Take as many breaks as you can. You are still in ‘repair’ mode.
Look at how nature ‘reboots’ and reupholsters itself every spring! Stay blessed. 🙂
I wonder how you really feel what I am needing right at that particular moment.
I don’t know whether you felt it or not I was thinking about you in the morning.
Painting indeed gave me the pleasure you were talking about but I guess I was judging myself too much.
Buying clothes doesn’t give me thrills as well.
But yes I love travelling
Please do suggest how to take out time to travel with busy routine
My daughter’s marriage preparations
My son’s A level exams
No servant for the time being
Mother in law who is very demanding is on her way to our place
Husband is busy with his own demons like paying nd managing money for his assets Army is giving and daughter’s marriage
I know shireen, it’s all Allah Almighty’s job
But akhir ko tu hum insaan hain.
Kiran, I felt it, and wrote this blog post, then dashed to Rawalpindi. Just as I got home, I had to check for any comments. Here it is! Thank you for for it. Yes, we have to steal moments of sanity from this crazy life. Alhamdolillah. All these that you have mentioned are blessings actually. So, first a Big Thank You to the One Above. Then, using one’s ingenuity to find some blissfully happy moments squeezed into each one of the wonderful ‘pressures’ you have written about. Frankly, I’ve lived my life in this way, that I’d ask hubby dear maximum three times. Then I’d never mention the thing and find a way to do it on my own. Hence, jobs, hobbies and projects which fulfilled my personal requirements, and my families too, sometimes. BTW, trust his demons, he also knows what he is doing, God knows, it will all benefit you in the end too. Why? Because of your patience, support and unfailing ingenuity at all times. That is why! One big tip: Do whatever you do for Allah’s sake. Then it will all fit into a complete logical whole one day.
Yes, it will. Love and hugs, my friend.
Yes I have stopped doing it for people but than at the end we are humans
Thanks for your wise suggestions as always
Your input is always appreciated! Love and hugs.