The end of 2019 is here. So, lets quickly ‘wrap it up’ now….
How to do it? Lets see.
The good thing is that this year, I’m thinking, instead of just marking what happened, lets go a step ahead of that and see how we fared during all the events that happened. What bad habits did we pick up and which good ones also happened.
Learn from house moves:
So far, I’ve moved house thirty-six times. Around sixteen times before marriage and more than twenty times after marriage. So, I’m a bit of a professional in making moves and adjusting to changes.
The best thing about a move is that you find out what to take with you, and what to leave behind. Taking that as an analogy, lets sit here before ‘moving’ to the next year. lets sit down to decide now what parts of ourselves and of our lives now, do we want to take along with us to the next year.
Decide now, which parts in our lives need to be left behind.
We know that with every passing year, time is getting lessor, so we can’t afford to keep stumbling over the same mistakes every year? Lets just learn our lessons, and leave the rest of the baggage behind?
End-of-year analysis of one’s self:
You have seen how I’ve written ‘end of year’ blog posts previously. It is important to put the year’s events into perspective, to help ourselves move on fresh and ready for next year. Free of all baggage and ready to jump into the new year.
Different ways to analyze:
- One way is to compare with the ‘new year resolutions’ to see what things got done and what didn’t. So one can put those things ‘not done’, into this year’s new year resolutions. I know, my book Message from the East had to be put off.
- Realize why certain targets could not be met. In my case, it was due to arrival of my second grand kid. So, it was definitely worth it. So, you see don’t blame yourself for ‘things not done’, as some other even better things must have got done.
- Celebrate the good parts: Alhamdolillah. Need a good pat on the back for it, and more thanks to God.
- Accept and forgive yourself: for all that couldn’t be done.
My happenings this year:
I lost my dad, which was the saddest thing on earth for me. That was followed by death of my wonderful cook, Abdul Rahim. Another sad thing to happen. All this was followed by the upholstery projects which I did to cheer up my mother (and myself), mainly, to involve her in doing up her room and get her interested in starting a new life. She already had her iPad, and then Waliya fixed a new smart tv in her room, so she could watch all those programs which she couldn’t watch earlier.
Our charity work:
As the sadness for loss of my father grew, I found peace and solace in the bridal projects and charity work, we did together through Facebook and Instagram. It started just as a one-off thing, which had a ripple effect with your enthusiasm and generous donations. We have recently helped in our sixteenth marriage package which started here. It was going on along with the Ramzan projects here. This project was like a balm for me. Watching the happiness on faces of parents, girls, children and also the old people’s home, was so great.
Want to keep the charity projects:
Now the new scenario. I feel while analyzing the events that took place in the year, we need to check ourselves too. Analyze how I stood up to them. Where did I do things right, and where did I fall short? This is where self analysis is important.
Why self analysis?
Take along good habits picked up this year, while shedding off any bad habits picked up along the way. Unless I sit and analyze these, they will remain with me next year also.
How to self-analyze:
I guess I’d do it like this, making it a very confidential. Let me share a few with you:
|Sr. no.||Item/topic||Analysis||What to do||Remarks/solution|
|1.||Forgetfulness||Due to multi-tasking too much||1.Better weekly plans.
2. Do one thing at a time.
3. Say ‘no’ more often.
Remember when you say ‘yes’ to an acquaintance, you say ‘no’ to a loved one or yourself.
4. Leave space between two activites. (Best to make it a prayer break.)
|2.||Empathy without boundaries, is a recipe for disaster.
Apni istataat mein rahein!
|State boundaries, according to capacity.
Stop trying to over-do things that aren’t your responsibility.
|1. Maximum 2 bridal projects a month.
2. Better financial mgt.
3. Better organization and coordination.
|3.||Financial mgt.||Need to work all projects to end, making proper round up of everything; (Preferably in income tax format,) throughout the year.||1. Chalk out weekly /daily time for financial mgt. (40 min daily).
2. Save for it.
|4.||Relaxation /entertainment.||Must relax fully on two-day weekends.
|1. Plan an out of town trip once in two months at least.
2. Work-free weekends.
|6.||Painting/writing/publication||Follow weekly time slots.|
So make one for yourself.
You can make your own grid like this one above, or add your own sections. Specially, analyzing anything big and unhappy happening in your own life. Sit and think how it could have been done differently. Note any financial extravagances which could easily have been avoided. Make a policy that will hopefully work better next time. You know the best policy? Patience. Sometimes just going with the flow is enough. Pray hard. That should be enough. Close your mind to things happening around you and hope for the best.
So, a list of habits, people and situations we can let go might be handy. It is important to let those people leave who wish to do so. No hard thinking needed here. It would be nice if it was for the right reasons. But we can only think so much. Also, thank Allah for some relationships are only there for a certain time. No point on dragging it on and on.
By the same token it is important to know what things, people and situations are worth holding onto. But… how can one know for sure?
The answer is always inside your heart. 🙂
Yes, yes, I know, your heart is the most stupid thing! Right! So? Say prayers, and leave it to Allah to decided. Go with the flow, and with acceptance.
But, if you know someone is worth fighting for. Do give it a try, at least once, so that later on, you do not regret, that ‘I didn’t even try it one last time!’
Well, this is all that I can think of right now, let me know if you have any better ideas. In this post, I feel we need to focus on our own selves more than the events. Yes, next year there will be other events and situations, so how will we react next year? Will we make the same mistakes again and again or grow wiser and smarter?
Yessss that is the question! Stay blessed my amazing Readers. I’ve grown attached to you all. sooooooo much. 🙂
Thank you so much for this blog post.
I am sorry for the loss you faced but your resilience is really commendable and inspiring. Honestly there are so many times when I feel like giving up in certain things and then I think about you and the way you have managed everything mashallah. You really inspire me a lot.
And this post it was really a fresh breath of air for me. I was so confused about this year start, I was kind of feeling so blank. I wanted to analyze everyhing but somehow wasnt being able to sit and do this. But your post has inspired me a lot more to do that.
A comment like yours is the main reason I write. Thank you so much for your comment, it means so much to me. I’m so glad it was of use to you. Writing such a peace is like a catharsis for me too. Usually we wrap up the year by talking about the events, not on how we reacted or what we have learnt from it. So, that’s why I wanted to analyze this aspect for myself and leave it out for anyone else who could benefit from this too. Lots of love and stay blessed. 🙂
Aoa beautiful mam! This blog post is so freakin good 👏 i learnt and saw so many things this year, mostly from my elders which i am not gonna implement when I’d reach their age InshaAllah ✨ my mission for 2020 is to “Be the change i wish to see in the world.” JazakaAllah 💜
Believe me it is so important to be conscious of such an intent as yours. Otherwise, we find ourselves also repeating those mistakes made by our elders! This is why such an analysis is so important. Now, you know, Insha Allah you shall rock through the coming year. All the best wishes, and do stay blessed. 🙂