Assalam o Alaikum, to all! ?
Today, this post has taken on a special meaning for myself too. I’ve realized how important it is to be kind to yourself in this world where everyone has harsh expectations from you. So much so, that you too start bashing yourself up for all that you didn’t achieve; putting all ‘failures’ on your poor unsuspecting head!
Stop. Wait a minute. Before killing yourself over why you couldn’t achieve all that you wanted to, see your journey first.
You will find out how in many ways, you couldn’t do it, because you were busy giving priority to unexpected developments in your life. Due to these, you had to make amendments to fit new stuff into your life. Yes, most of these were Covid19 based.
Now, let us move on…
Be kind to your own self:
So, after accomplishing a major milestone in my life; yes, my youngest daughter’s wedding; I’ve got to get back to my own life goals! That is when I realized how far behind I was on my own ‘schedules.’
Overwhelmed by too much to do:
Work… oh my God. I realized, that due to working for last five months on this project, (and starting the food drive!) I felt overwhelmed. There was simply TOO MUCH to do.
I asked myself, ‘how can I do it now? – why didn’t I do it earlier?’
Then I had to stop myself.
Looking at my journey…
So, I decided to look at my recent journey first. Yes, within the last five months I accomplished all this:
- The home-based nikah function with home-cooked food, for around eighty persons here, in February.
- The Corona Virus invasion and protecting my family and staff by implementing SOPs.
- The Food Drive began on 23rd March 2020 and has continued till today – which was the 95th Drive!
- Bridal project also continued, and by now I’ve completed 35 marriages.
- During this time, I got lots of things done for my daughter’s upcoming wedding, stuff to make sure she has a comfortable home when she goes in. In spite of lock down and closed shops, work got completed.
- The decision to go ahead with the Ruksati, in spite of the Covid19. Working out how to do it, since it was the first of its kind. (Knowing that any mismanagement could result in disease and death.)
- To add the cherry on the top, there was the cup of tea that fell on my right side, on June 15th. Causing a massive burn with mushrooming blisters on side of my waist, stomach and upper thigh. It couldn’t be kept open, due to its location. I continued with the work, while my daughter dressed my wounds four times a day, with medications instructed by Dr. Mehmood’s.
- Naturally, doing it all while missing my elder daughters, relatives and my friends, wasn’t easy. Still I went ahead with the Ruksati event here.
- May Allah bless Waliya’s fraternity of designers, vloggers, videographers and photographers, and specially the event managers who pitched in with their zeal and expertise to make the event a memorable one. Special thanks to Izzah of @pictroizzah, Abeera of @zuora_events, Ammar, Sadia Ejaz of @bakeberry_bwp, the amazing dress by @alixeeshan, and gorgeous jewelry by Shafaq from Lahore.
- Somehow, during this time, I got interviewed on zoom from America and Pakistan on several panels. The latest interview conducted by Aliya Janjua for her podcast was one of a kind @humanswithapurpose. The YouTube one one zoom, by young Dania from Houston and Maria from Karachi was really a nice experience for me. Same with the one by NUST for youth of the world, on importance of taking steps to improve Pakistan and India relations.
- I also developed a thrill for live sessions on Instagram.
Remember the journey, then move on:
Alhamdolillah, everything done successfully, with Allah’s blessings, and I’m going to bombard myself on why I couldn’t do twenty more things too?
Going over my journey, gave me the courage and confidence to now, be able to move on to the work that is needed to be done; with more confidence. If I could do all that, then the upcoming work should be a piece of cake!
Oops! You are right. Life really isn’t a piece of cake.
It will be done:
Now I have the confidence to do all those unpleasant things too. If I could achieve all of the above, specially the event, with that horrid burn on my side, I’m sure I can do the nasty things I’ve got to do, along with the stuff that I love.
Feels great doesn’t it?
Now, you do the same exercise. Value the efforts you have made, and be kind to yourself. Go on, give yourself that required boost! Get the confidence from it. Now move on to your next challenge with more zeal and vigor.
Remember your journey once more:
This time, know that it is all right to put your own life goals on hold for a family event or a milestone. However, no one has the right to walk into your personal goals in life without your consent.
Just as this Corona Virus has been a hindrance for us, it is also an opportunity to write that book you always wanted to write. Or to achieve things which are easier now, due to less distractions from our social life.
This time, do now allow external locus of control to get a hold on you. Remain firm on your own goal to achieve your personal goals in life.
Now, pick up a pen and paper or use your laptop and open that ‘personal goals file’ and get going!
Stay blessed, my Reader. ?