Food for thought Random thoughts Relationships

The Void

Hi, Everyone!

Probably, the most painful thing about any life changing event is the void that is created. A void is a real part of our lives. It keeps happening from time to time. It can happen even without a life changing event, but usually with a sad or happy change in one’s life. The void is here for a while.

Living in parallel worlds:

The funny part is there is this parallel life we are living these days. The pain of things going on in your circle of concern (mostly, our virtual lives on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter these days,) along with the pain going on in our real lives, all affect us.

Between the two, you become a mess, if you aren’t careful.

Be smart with the smart phone:

I admire people who can control it.

Thanks to this thing in the palm of our hands, we are living in two worlds at the same time. The virtual one (which should just be our circle of concern). At the same time, this smart phone holds our circle of influence in it, yes, our real life. So, we get confused between the two; the real and the virtual. We feel the pain of occurrences of yesterday, jumbled up with our own lives’ influences.


So, my body has a way to deal with it. I get dizzy spells when I’m too stressed, (otherwise, I don’t realize it). When I went to my Trail 5 two days ago, I slipped and fell. (It happened, because I took my new cocker spaniel Mrs. Pepper, and she was pulling too strongly at the leash, the ground was slippery). I got quite shaken up by the fall, and my phone’s screen broke. So the smart phone is out of my life for a few days at least. (Now, I can sit and talk against it!)

Special thank you to the gentleman who helped me get back on my feet. God bless him.

Yes, I’ve got another dog in my life. (You know I can’t live without pets.) More about her in another blog post. It was also a way for me to deal with the void created by the loss of Pepper from my life. So, I got a female, so when I do find Pepper, he will find a bride waiting for him. 😉

Share both sides of life.

This is why, it is important to look for the healing balms and fun things in our real lives as well as in our virtual life. Both. You’ve got to find and enjoy the good times,  simply because they give us strength at a time when we need it most. – Do it for the followers too!

As Allah says in Surah An-Nashra, har mushkil kay saath asani hai, there is relief along with every hardship. I believe, Allah gives that to sustain and secure us, in spite of the hard times.

No matter what we do, sometimes what happens to others affects us too. We feel so badly for the person affected. Can you imagine the void that will fill her life, after this life-changing event in her life?!

What happened on the highway:

Right now as I write, a terrible thing has happened on the highway, to a married woman traveling with three children;  For the first time, everyone is united in calling out for ‘hang the rapist.’ #hangtherapist.

I saw two good things came out of this incident:

  1. There is finally stress on not shaming the victim, and focusing on the criminal.
  2. The law for castration of rapist has been passed. (When it is implemented, then I’ll be more happy. At least it is a step in the right direction.) I wonder how it can be checked if it was done or not? Or the criminal bribed his way out of it, too!?

So, where was I?

Life changes:

Meanwhile, you notice that life has changed! Another piece of news; you have also changed.


How did this happen? When?

Well, wasn’t this what you had yourself worked for?

You forgot one thing, the void that comes with each change.

Its for the best:

Suddenly you realize. Each change was actually for the best. This is growth and development in life.

Your family, job, and career. All are changing. The presence or departure of any one aspect always leaves a void behind to be filled.

The void we would love to fill would be that of Covid19 going! I guess we will miss somethings about this too. – See what I mean?

Facing the void

You know in science, the void is one of the most beautiful things prior to change.

A void is that space that you crave for in the busiest of times in your life. Same void with so much space in it.

Void created by the spaces in your life which you had given to ‘someone’. Who left. Just left.

One way or another, the ‘loss’ took place. Death, moving away, getting lost, disappearing, or you yourself had blocked and deleted.


Your reaction to the void:

First the awareness of this void. It definitely comes as a shock. Numbness. Anxiety. Depression.

Then slowly, feelings return, along with recovery.

It is important to know whether it was a good one or not? Did it make you sad or happy?

Just remember two things:

Happy voids:

Naturally, there are voids in every age bracket of life:

  • Moving from one class to another in school. Then from school to College or University.
  • Finding a new job.
  • Your teenager moving away to join university in another city.
  • Getting married and starting a life of responsibilities.
  • The marriage of your son or daughter. That void is a good one, as you want it to happen for their own well being. It is natural, just as you went through it in your own married life.
  • You found out the guy you were in a relationship with was a jerk. (It doesn’t matter if it was a virtual relationship or real life one.) You chose to block and delete him. Naturally, you don’t want frauds, crooks or criminals in your life. So, this is happy too. But what about the time slots you gave to the person? Yes. The void is real here too.

Sad void:

This is the void you never asked for:

  • Death of a loved one in your life,
  • A friend moves away to another city, or gets married!
  • Losing something or someone precious.
  • Getting downsized at your job.

In both cases, you face a void which you need to fill in now. Once you realize that both types of situations are from Allah, then you can accept it and move on. It is Allah who gives and takes away. Yes, things happen for a reason. There has to be something good in it. So, we can start with no hard feelings. When death takes someone away, you know it was their time to leave this world. When a pet like Pepper gets lost, you just have to make do with life, while keeping a space for him, whenever it will be time for him to get back into your life.

? You will find out you are quite fine in this void.

Why? Because it is for the best. Whether you brought it about, or it happened.

Since by now, you know it was from Allah, it is up to you to make it the best time. Know that this void will be here for a short span of time.

Don’t avoid the void

In fact, you need to welcome this void. You need this space, and time, to become the ‘new me.’ The one which is destined for the future.

Treasure these moments in this void.

Isn’t it like that meditation app you use, creating a vacant space in your mind. Well, this one is a vacant space in your life. Don’t be unhappy about it. Accept it.

Face to face with yourself:

Spend time on your own self for a change. Because that is what it has brought, it has brought you to yourself. Now you have the time to find out who you have turned into. Welcome your inner self into this new part of life.

This void is for you to treasure yourself, find ways to go for your own dreams.

What and how you use this void, will affect your future.

Fill this void carefully:

Get yourself ready for the unexpected in life.

Now, you have choices. You can remain here, or pick and choose whom you want to place in this void…. or by now you’ve become comfortable in this ‘void’. Now, you will think twice before letting someone enter this space that is yours.

Stay blessed and protected, my Reader. ?

PS: Meanwhile enjoy one of my favorite songs:

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  1. Beautiful. ?
    Well I have learned in my ARTSclass from the biggest inspiration legendary a true gentleman that to make your painting beautiful handle the void area or negative or blank area with utmost care and love.
    Because in a painting that void that blank and that negative area is as important as the area covered.
    This void is the beauty of our lives. This makes us more humble complete and thank full to our Allah Almighty for all the blessings we have
    Always a pleasure reading your thought provoking and inspirational blogs
    Love you
    Stay blessed always

    1. Shireen Gheba Najib says:


      How well you have explained it! I had also wanted to do it, but my post was already getting too long. Yes, it can be compared to the way you handle the void in your painting, and the same can be done for the void in our lives.

      It is as important as life itself.

      As usual you have added that ‘tarka’ – that special brew- to my post, by mentioning this aspect of the void.

      Thank you so much!

      1. Pleasure is all mine
        I think I get you what you wanted to say
        I wish I can write like you and inspire so many people the way you do it.

      2. Shireen Gheba Najib says:

        You can and you do, however, it just needs that extra motivation till it becomes that drug you can’t do without! 😉

  2. Inshaal Sarfraz says:

    There are many times in our life when darkness casts its shadow on ourselves.We forget the spark and light which lies in ourselves.For that to remember,We must remember Allah Almighty and thank Him for His blessings.
    “Don’t grieve.Anything you lose comes round in another form.” ( Rumi )
    More power to you dear Aunty.Your words give hope to many people.

    1. Shireen Gheba Najib says:

      Thank you Inshaal for your comment. I love the fact that I’m writing for such an enlightened reader! Your input has added to the subject being written about.
      All the best! 🙂

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